Sunday, May 31, 2009

Day 21: Looking inward....

So, today I was doing a little bit of thinking. There was a song on that I used to listen to before I was LDS, and it made me think... It made me think of things that I did or had done to be where I am now. Like, I haven't always been the person that you see and talk to daily. I was a whole different person. Angry on the inside. Fake on the outside. It was like I was being someone that I didn't want to be. A walking contradiction. I was like an empty shell of some kind of jock that didn't know what he was going to do or where he was going to go. Someone that knew where he wanted to be, but didn't know how to get there or when he should plan on getting there. It seemed like everything was alright. As most other is my family, direction and purpose didn't really take precidence over much.

Then, something happened. Something that completely blindsided me. Something that could, and really should, have killed me. A close member of my family had some drug issues that he was facing. Now, let me put this in perspective: Imagine someone that you looked up to your whole life. Someone that was your best friend because the kids in school didn't want to be your friend. Someone that could take the worst day, and turn it in to the best. Someone that you wanted to model yourself after. Now, take that person, and everything that you built them up to be, and change them. Change them in to the exact opposite of what you thought they were, and they are now looking to you for strength and help. Something that I could not handle at 17. On my 17th birthday, I was told about his problems. Told that I was not allowed to speak about it. Told that I, and only I, would be responsible for him and his troubles. Well, as we all know from the turn out, I was not ready for this. I couldn't handle it. I needed something, someone, anyone, and I didn't have any of that. I used to look to football for my escape, but even that didn't work. It was like nothing could help. Then, when it got too hard and I wanted to give up, a person that I will never forget and never be able to repay noticed that I wasn't having the best of times. He said, "Boi, you aren't looking too good. Wanna hang out?" So I went over to his house a few times, after school and we became close friends. After a while, I told him my situation. He said, "Boi, that is terrible. I knew something was wrong with you, but I didn't know it was this bad. Come. Be a part of my family, and we will help you through this." I didn't know what to think, at first, but I soon learned that he was telling the truth. One night, he was sleeping over at my house, as he often did, and I woke up, looked at him and said, "KK, I want to get baptized. I know what I need. Its the church." He looked at me and said, "You serious?" Of course I was!!!!

Now, to the point. I was baptized at 18, and I didn't know what I was getting myself in to. I didn't know that I had just given myself, and my family the greatest gift ever. I didn't know that I would no longer be the little brother, but be the brother with all of the answers. Now I get to go to a far away country and spread the love that I have had to work so hard to find. I am so graeful for that chance. I realized that doing all of this was good for me, but it is going to be so much better for my family, and that is what means the most to me. I know that I can be a good example, and I know that my family no longer thinks of me as a little brother. The church has changed me so much. I can't imagine how I was, compared to how I am now. I just know that if it wasn't for KK and for all of the wonderful people that supported me so much, I wouldn't be the person that I am now. Heck, I probably wouldn't be alive.

Because of all this, I know that the church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and he translated the Book of Mormon from the golden plates. I know that Heavenly Father places people in your life that can help you. I know that there are angels on this earth watching over us. I know that every person can do great things. I know that joining the church was the best thing that I have ever done. I wish the same amount of happiness to every person. I know that the members of the church are the best people I know. I have the best friends that I could ever ask for. I love each and every one of them with all of my heart. I am so grateful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Without it, and his atonement, there would be no church, and there would be no Brandon.

Always remember:
A Perfect Love Shall Casteth Out All Fear. Moroni 8:16
~Brandon

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day 18: Temple, Temple, Girls Night, awesome..... :)

I knot it has been a looooooong time since I have posted, and I am a little sorry. Well, I am still super excited for my mission. It seems like I am getting more and more excited as the days go on an on. I feel like such a putz for not writing KK and Braden until this week. Haha. So, here is what's happening!:

I went to the Temple for the first time last night. It was soooo amazing. I can't believe it. Like, I am so speechless about the whole thing. Mainly for two reasons: Because it was so amazing, and because it is so sacred that I don't talk about it outside of the Temple. Seriously, it was the best thing ever. I can't believe how far I have come. I was baptized at 18, and went throught the temple and on a mission at 21. It was the most amazing thing that I have ever been through. I made it through the whole time without breaking down, then in the Celestial Room, I went up stairs, sat down, and started bawling. It was like I could feel all of my family rejoicing. It was so powerful. I literally felt like I was falling. Like, you know that feeling. Kind of like your insides feel like they are dancing around and stuff. Yeah, I felt like that, but in a good way. I was so happy to finally have gone through the house of the Lord. Oh man. It was so great. I am going three days in a row, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tonight was girls night. I got to spend the night hanging with my favorite girls: Liz, Ashles, and Ashley. I absolutely love my girls. I am going to miss them so much. We watched: So You Think You Can Dance and it was awesome. Haha. I am going to miss their little faces.

Well, I am going to the temple tomorrow. It is going to be amazing. I gotta get this geneology work done. :)

Remember: A perfect love shall casteth out all fear. MNI 8:16
~Elder Cruz

Monday, May 18, 2009

Day 7: A day of thinking and reflecting....

Soooooo..... Today was an awesome day. I got to talk on the phone with my sister and Angie. It was great. I love talking to Angie. She is amazing. We realized that I would not be able to hug her when I come up to Utah before I report, and that makes us both very sad. :( Although, I will be able to hug her allllll I want when I come home. :) We talked about how awesome missionary work is and how I should be taking a mission prep class.... Oh, I am. Haha. Loverly!

I think it is funny what can bring you to think about how you are grateful for being a member of the church. This is one of those cases. I was playing basketball, tonight, and there were a few guys that showed up that weren't members of the church. They were banned from playing for cussing, being immodest, and doing drugs after the games on church property. They showed up and threw off our games, but we didn't tell them not to come back until after we were done playing. I began to think about how blessed we were to not be caught up in that type of life. Thses guys looked so bad. They looked like they were walking around alone. They had no light in their eyes. No hop in their step. No direction. I am not saying that all non-members are like this. I am just saying that these guys were so far from us that they stood out in a very negative way.

So, I was thinking. I am so grateful for the church. I looked back at how I was. I saw myself at my lowest. I wanted to give up, but someone saw something in my spirit. He told me not to give up. He said that there was something that he could help me find that would change everything. He said that there was something that everyone needed, and he had it, and he could give it to me. I was like, "what the heck?" He knew that I knew what he was talking about. Then, KK invited me to church. I turned him down, but it got me thinking. I knew that I needed something, but I didn't exactly know what. It wasn't until after Winter Formal that I realized that I needed the church. I was soon baptized. I have had some trials and some falls, but in the end I was lifted up and shown the truth. Now, I am going to serve the Lord for two years. I am going to a far away land. I am going to Africa to speak French and spread the gospel. I am going to give that ery thing that I needed to the people of the Ivory Coast. I can't wait. I am so excited to give them what saved my life, twice. I leave in two months, and I am so excited.

I love each one of you, for reading my bloggys. I thank you all for being there for me. I can't wait to see each of you before I leave for my mission. It is going to be such a great experience.

UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
~Macaroni :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Day 5: Mission call!!!!

So, my mission call finally came!!! I was so excited to see that big white envelope in the mail. I am sure the mail lady got sick of seeing my face, but she won't have to see it for a loooooonnnnnnggggg time. :) We all went over to California Pizza Kitchen by the Kirkorian on Vista Way, and I opened it there. It was quite the gathering. There were far more people there than I thought. I called in a few hours earlier and told them that I was bringing a group of 20is people and that it was going to be loud. I guess I underestimated. About 35 people ended up showing up, and it was awesome. There was: Me, My mom and Dad, Brother and Sister Bushnell, Dan Bushnell, Brock Bushnell, Stott Bushnell, Sarah Bushnell, Liz Olson, Chelsie Isa, Amy Remsberg, One of their friends, Ivan Gonzalez, Emily Leblanc, Chad from Maine, Mark Larson, Joe Torria, Natalie Whittaker, Christine Mckissick, Ross Mckissick, Kawika Aledo, Anders Conk, Sean Taylor, and Dylan Bitton. It was NUTSO!!!! Everyone showed up at 715, and I opened my call by 730. We went around the table and everyone said where they thought I was going to go. My Dad was the closest with "I think he is going to speak French." Good job, Dad. So, I began to open my call and I had Dan call Craig. I started reading it. "Dear Elder Cruz...... yada yada yada..... You are called to serve in the BOISE IDAHO MISSION!!!!!" Then, Mark squeals, "ARE YOU JOKING!?" "Yes. Yes I am" His face was priceless. I then read my ACTUAL mission in my best French accent. "Cote d'Ivoire Abidjan Mission." Sister Bushnell exlaimed, "THAT IS RUSSIA!!!!!" Then, I looked and it was actually Africa. Close, sista Bushie! I attempted to eat the delicious pizza that Dan ordered for me, but I was wayyyy too excited. I just wanted to talk to everyone. I did lap after lap of the HUGE table that was made for us. It was so exciting.

Well, I am super excited to go to Africa and speak French. Here is a list of what I have to do now:
1. Get a Passport.
2. Get an international drivers lisence.
3. Get endowed.
4. Go to the Temple 50000000 times.
5. Read Jesus the Christ.
6. Get a new set of scriptures.
7. Write: Braden, KK, Rachel, and Mckay to let them know where I am going.
8. Get all of my shots.
9. Get all of my missionary stuff.
10. Farewell talk.
11. Farewell open house.
12. Setting apart.
13. Go to Utah and go through the: Salt Lake, Draper, Bountiful, and St. George temples.
14. Say my final goodbyes to my parents and friends.
15. Report at 11:30am on Juy 15th, 2009.
16. Come home 24 months later. :)

That's right. You read correctly. I am leaving in two months. CRAZY!!!!

Welp, I have an early day tomorrow and I am going to sign off.

Stay classy San Diego.
~Macaroni

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Day 4: Mission Prep, Institute, and Basketball....

Today was institute day!!!! Yay! That means three things: I get to go to Laguna(ish) and go to institute, hang out with Dan, and play basketball. It is an awesome night, all around. I love my institue classes. I take mission prep and a regular institute class. We studied about Christlike attributes and the life of Christ. Basically, all we did was talk about the Savior. I loved it. I love our Savior. Just thinking about him fills my heart with joy. :) Quote of the day was definetly, "I like you, in a non-Prop 8 way." That was the funniest thing that I have heard about Prop 8, since it went on the ballot.

By the way, my stance has changed on the whole, Gay Marriage, thing. I won't go in to what it has changed, but I will go in to why my stance was so rigid, before. I had been given such a hard time for my political views, that I just decided to build a hard shell over a certain topic (gays) and be too stubborn to move on it. I was shown quite softly, by a good friend, that I had a hardened heart. Luckily, I finally saw that, and decided to change my outlook and soften my heart. Loverly!!!!!

I have played wayyyyy too much basketball for my body, and it kind of called it quits on me today. I usually play on Thursdays, but I don't know if I am going to be able to, this time. Haha. I do love basketball, though.

Ok, so there is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. Before I go on my mission, I have to do something that I thought I would never do. There is a member of my family that has gone through a lot of stuff, and he tore me down to my core, at one point. (Which is a huge reason why I joined the church. I was at such a low.) I think I am ready to stop being a butt and tell him that I forgive him for everything that has happened. I really do love my brother. I used to look up to him so much. I think it is my time to be the one who is looked up to. I love the church because it gives us such strength. I was asked, "How does faith become strength?" Well, I know that faith becomes strength when you act on that faith. I have been waiting for the stength to come, but I have found that if I keep waiting, it will never come. It will come sooner if I act on it, and I will.

Well, no mission call today. Let's hope that it comes tomorrow.

Right now, I am watching Enchanted. I love musicals.
~Macaroni

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Day 3: An Awkward day, that's for sure....

Today I had the great task of calling all of my previous employers. I never knew it would be so difficult finding out my dates of employement. I had to call a hotline, and was basically grilled as to why I wanted the dates of my employement at American Eagle. At one point, I said, "Look, all I want are the dates of my employement. I don't want anything else. You are making this much harder than it needs to be. Now, can you please give me the start and finish dates of my time at American Eagle?" Needless to say, the lady was pretty irritated with me, and I was transferred to an automated sytem. The machine guy was much happier to be helping me than the lady was. I just don't get why it is so important to get the EXACT dates of employemen. Ok, I left some things out. I should fill you all in on why I have to be so particular about all this. I got a job offer at Bank of America and they have a security clearence thingy that I need to fill out. It has dates of education, employement, and where I live. I have to be spot on for all of the dates of my employement and education. Where I live isn't as important, but I need to be accurate on that also. What sucks is that if I am off on ONE DAY for my employment. The back ground check comes back unsuccesful and I am out of luck for the job. Needless to say, I can't afford to just guess, so I am stuck calling: Fry's Electronics, American Eagle, Jerome's Furniture, and Spott Pest Prevention to get those exact dates.

Today is pretty uneventful, but I think that we are going to play some basketball at 9:30. We played last night, and I had a few good games. After those, I was just too dang tired to really put out any effort. We played from 8pm till around 11. It was a crazy amount of basketball. What is crazier is that I could be doing it all again tonight. Mormons love basketball, what can I say? Haha.

No mission call today. I think it will come tomorrow. Here is what happened: I submitted my papers on a Friday. They don't recieve them til Monday, but they don't look at them til Wednesday. So basically, my papers didn't get to the right people until Wednesday. I am guessing, and all I can do is guess, that it will come tomorrow. We are going to have dinner at Chili's or California Pizza Kitchen so I can open it in front of everyone. If you have any requests for that night, Example: Want me to put you on speaker while I open it, that can be arranged somehow. I just can't wait for this thing to come.

My mom bribes me to stay and eat with the family, sometimes. Tonight, she made me tacos. She knows that I love those dang tacos. They are the only food that I will not share with anyone. Ever. I get to have a sweet dinner with my mom and dad tonight. Then, I am heading to the Bushnell's to hang out with Stott and then play some basketball. I hope I don't get beat up too badly by Brock. He usually beats the crap out of me. I don't know how he does it. I always tell him, "Brock, no fighting tonight." Next thing I know, I have a toy lightsaber in my hand and he is hitting the crap out of my legs with a sword that he has. How does this kid outsmart me every night? I am going to wise up to his tactics one day, but that day has yet to come.

I watched most of Pearl Harbor, today. I am a history major, and I couldn't pass up the chance to watch one of the most historically accurate movies of all time. Other than the made up characters and love story, it was one of the most accurate. From the planes used, to the Dolittle raid of Tokyo. I was watching the end, and it highlighted a point in the raid where President Franklin D. Roosevelt heard of the news of the raid. He says, "So our boys are flying blind and on empty tanks." He was talking about the homing beacons that the Chinese set up so the B-29s could lock on and find the Chinese safe zones. The raid had to be launched pre-maturely because the Japanese had stumbled across the carriers that held the planes of the raiders. They were supposed to launch at 400 miles from the coast of Japan, but they launched somewhere outside of 600 miles. Having faith, they got in their bombers and took off from the carrier. Colnel Dolittle was the first to fly. He was quoted, saying to his co-pilot, "When did you find religion? Do me a favor, and pray for the both of us." I think that is quite amazing that he would pause and think of our Heavenly Father. He probably didn't know it at the time, but his faith and the faith of his co-pilot helped them. Those men were very courageous and faithful. They took off blindly, knowing that they could possibly die. They had no one, other than themselves and their Heavenly Father to look to for comfort. Most of the men died, but their story lives on, and their faith will forever be remembered. It is small acts of faith, like that, that lead me to know that there is a God. That he is our Heavenly Father. That he can protect us in our times of need. That when there seems to be no one else, he is always there. His love is all around us, and we just have to accept it. I know we all have different times and circumstances where we look to our Heavenly Father for comfort, but we all know that when we are sincere and ask for it, he reaches out his loving arms and wraps us up tight. He is here to protect us. I know from personal experience. We all do.

Big Gulps, huh? Welp, see ya later!!!
~Macaroni

Monday, May 11, 2009

Day 1:

It seems like I have been waiting for this stupid thing for 10 years! This sucks. I shouldn't be too hard on the mail lady, though. She is just bringing the mail and is kind enough to make fun of me for waiting by the mail box everyday. I bet she will miss me when I am gone. I know I would. :)

Mission prep was cancelled at church today, so Christine Mckissick and I were talking about how the mail lady could be holding out on me. So, we made up scenerios for how she could be hiding my mission call. "I bet she is going to take it on vacation with her and open it on the beaches of Florida." I wouldn't doubt that at all. Although, I don't know how much good MY mission call would do her.

I got to spend the day at the Bushnell's house. I have spent most of my time there, lately. I have become very close with that wonderful family. They are AMAZING!!! We talked about how I can't wait to get my mission call and how it must kill me to be waiting so long. It seems to get easier and easier to wait as I complain more and more. Oh.... Wait.... No it doesn't. This thing needs to come. Haha. We also talked about that one time when I broke up with a girl for Mckay, and how he shouldn't have been dating when he was 14, in the first place. Then, we went around the room and said some nice things about Sister Bushnell. (She made me.) I told her about my first impression of her: "It was the Mom's game. (A tradition at Fallbrook High School after the spring game. A game where the moms "attempt" to play their son's positions in a "light scrimage".) I was a Freshman and I didn't really know what was going on. I was watching this group of women get pumped up and strap on cleats. I remember thinking to myself 'What the heck is going on? Are the going to PLAY FOOTBALL!?' Oh, yes. They sure were. A few plays went by and nothing really cool happened. A fumble here. An interception there. Same ol', same ol'. Then, like a cannon, Sister Bushnell shot out of the backfield, ball in hand, and ran down the sideline. (Picture a skinny athletic woman with long blonde hair and very long legs. Taking HUGE strides like a gazel.) She is out in front by at least 2 yards. The coaches blow the wistle, but that is not enought to stop her, oh no. She isn't done until she reaches the goal line. She ran a full 100 yards to the endzone, but before she crossed the goal line, she turned around and started back-peddling. (I think she started at the 20 yard line, or so.)" I exclaimed, "WHO'S MOM WAS THAT!?" "Bushnell. She does it every year," said someone I still don't know, "there still hasn't been a single woman to lay her out. She is kind of cocky." Before I knew who she was, I knew she was awesome. Haha.

I was thinking about some religion related stuff today. I was wondering, since Jesus created the universe and all of its planets, did he suffer the atonement for each planet differently, or did he suffer all at once? How great of an undertaking must that have been? To go to each planet individually and die for each planets sins. Can you imagine that? How amazing of a man must Jesus be? We are so very lucky to have had him suffer for our sins. I think he went to each planet individually and suffered for everyone. I bet he thought, "Man, this is going to be one awesome road trip. I get to be the most popular person ever." I think he deserves it. I fear that I was a little sacreligious, there, but oh well. Sue me. :)

Until next time, live long and prosper. Star Trek is awesome, BTW. :)
~Brandon Y Cruz (ElderMacaroni)

Mission Statement:

So, basically, what I am doing here is a chronical of my daily thinkings, goings, adventures, and hilarious mishaps before I leave for my mission. My days have been filled with a tremendous amount of waiting lately. I have been waiting for the most important thing ever, my mission call. It pretty much fills up my whole day before 2pm, so I have plenty of time to do things that are much less fun than blogging. Hah. Hope you have as much fun reading as I have typing. Once again, WELCOME TO THE CAMPOUT!!!! :)