Day 21: Looking inward....

So, today I was doing a little bit of thinking. There was a song on that I used to listen to before I was LDS, and it made me think... It made me think of things that I did or had done to be where I am now. Like, I haven't always been the person that you see and talk to daily. I was a whole different person. Angry on the inside. Fake on the outside. It was like I was being someone that I didn't want to be. A walking contradiction. I was like an empty shell of some kind of jock that didn't know what he was going to do or where he was going to go. Someone that knew where he wanted to be, but didn't know how to get there or when he should plan on getting there. It seemed like everything was alright. As most other is my family, direction and purpose didn't really take precidence over much.

Then, something happened. Something that completely blindsided me. Something that could, and really should, have killed me. A close member of my family had some drug issues that he was facing. Now, let me put this in perspective: Imagine someone that you looked up to your whole life. Someone that was your best friend because the kids in school didn't want to be your friend. Someone that could take the worst day, and turn it in to the best. Someone that you wanted to model yourself after. Now, take that person, and everything that you built them up to be, and change them. Change them in to the exact opposite of what you thought they were, and they are now looking to you for strength and help. Something that I could not handle at 17. On my 17th birthday, I was told about his problems. Told that I was not allowed to speak about it. Told that I, and only I, would be responsible for him and his troubles. Well, as we all know from the turn out, I was not ready for this. I couldn't handle it. I needed something, someone, anyone, and I didn't have any of that. I used to look to football for my escape, but even that didn't work. It was like nothing could help. Then, when it got too hard and I wanted to give up, a person that I will never forget and never be able to repay noticed that I wasn't having the best of times. He said, "Boi, you aren't looking too good. Wanna hang out?" So I went over to his house a few times, after school and we became close friends. After a while, I told him my situation. He said, "Boi, that is terrible. I knew something was wrong with you, but I didn't know it was this bad. Come. Be a part of my family, and we will help you through this." I didn't know what to think, at first, but I soon learned that he was telling the truth. One night, he was sleeping over at my house, as he often did, and I woke up, looked at him and said, "KK, I want to get baptized. I know what I need. Its the church." He looked at me and said, "You serious?" Of course I was!!!!

Now, to the point. I was baptized at 18, and I didn't know what I was getting myself in to. I didn't know that I had just given myself, and my family the greatest gift ever. I didn't know that I would no longer be the little brother, but be the brother with all of the answers. Now I get to go to a far away country and spread the love that I have had to work so hard to find. I am so graeful for that chance. I realized that doing all of this was good for me, but it is going to be so much better for my family, and that is what means the most to me. I know that I can be a good example, and I know that my family no longer thinks of me as a little brother. The church has changed me so much. I can't imagine how I was, compared to how I am now. I just know that if it wasn't for KK and for all of the wonderful people that supported me so much, I wouldn't be the person that I am now. Heck, I probably wouldn't be alive.

Because of all this, I know that the church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and he translated the Book of Mormon from the golden plates. I know that Heavenly Father places people in your life that can help you. I know that there are angels on this earth watching over us. I know that every person can do great things. I know that joining the church was the best thing that I have ever done. I wish the same amount of happiness to every person. I know that the members of the church are the best people I know. I have the best friends that I could ever ask for. I love each and every one of them with all of my heart. I am so grateful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Without it, and his atonement, there would be no church, and there would be no Brandon.

Always remember:
A Perfect Love Shall Casteth Out All Fear. Moroni 8:16
~Brandon